A521.9.4.RB_LloydPayneDamien

In Chapter 12, Denning explicitly describes his dimensions of leadership. Reflect on those dimensions and how you expect they will impact the way you lead in the future. Include specific examples of how at least THREE of Denning's dimensions manifest in your own application of leadership.

Denning (2011) opens chapter twelve with the quote by Vicki Hearne: “To be understood is to be open to understanding.” This basic idea encompasses what an interactive leader is. There is no standard template for aspiring leaders to follow; they have to make their own based on the guide and suggestions of those who lead before them. Every individual and organization is different effective leaders read and react to those differences.  He states that an interactive leader:

•          works with the world rather than against it.
•          adds and subtracts elements from the leadership palette.
•          builds on personal integrity and authenticity.
•          doesn’t depend on the possession of hierarchical authority.
•          benefits from an understanding of the different narrative patterns that can be used to get things done in the world.

All of these dimensions are important factors to be a good leader, and one that will change the way we think and act.  The modern workplace has changed so much that for leaders it is vital that they be willing and able to adapt and grow with these changes.

As a leader my primary goal will be to learn to work with my surroundings instead against it.  In the past I have tried it the other way around - and it just doesn't work.  Leaders should not fool themselves by thinking that they alone can change the world.  Leaders need to let subordinates know that they are a vital part of the organization and unit success depends on collaborations of everyone involved.  Interactive leadership uses communication to connect with the employees, while earning employees’ respect. According to Denning (2011), open communication provides an opportunity for the leader to better understand their employees, listen to them more actively, and receive & response to feedback. If interactive leadership uses communication correctly leaders will have the opportunity to learn the current organization culture.  By learning the current organizational culture, leaders can establish an environment in which they work with their employees and not work against them. In the past, I have always felt that I was a good listener; however I now realize that I can do a better job in active listening.

Another goal I have is to use the interactive leadership to convey my integrity and authenticity to my followers.  It is something that I notice is lacking in many departments within my organization.  If you are not sure what your leader stands for or that they are not sincere in what they say there is no trust or faith.  When I can make it clear who I am and what I stand for my followers will not have to question what my agenda is because I will have to convey it to them clearly so they can understand it.  One must lead by example so if I am always complaining about the new system and how much I hate it my followers will pick that up as well and either agree with me because they just want to be agreeable or they will not have faith in my abilities to adapt to the new system.  The actions of the follower are only as good as those of its leader.

A final dimension that I want to touch on that manifests in my own application is "Interactive leadership doesn't depend on the possession of hierarchical authority"(Denning, 2011, p. 271).  Often, hierarchies exist, but what doesn't need to be dictated is the absolute direction about something or some idea.  For example, on many occasions while flying, the SIC (second in command) has issued orders like "go around", which means to take the aircraft back into the air and return for another landing.  While not strictly in charge, the Captain of any aircraft should expect his or her SIC to have command authority of they deem it necessary.  Sometimes, the ships with the authoritarian Captain that only depends on his authority, are the ones that get in accidents.  It is this type of interactive leadership where someone who is technically lower in the hierarchy has an equal amount freedom to improve and clarify, which actually enhances leadership.  In the helicopter industry, this lesson has been learned only recently.  In 2005, having just started at PHi in the Gulf of Mexico, some bases still had Captains exerting their authority in their down time as well as in the cockpit.  They had their own "big ship table" and demanded the better living quarters in the housing.  When the company changed hands, the leadership at the top changed, and so to did much of that attitude.

The major points I take from this reading is that it is vital to be able to adapt and change with different situations and not close yourself off to learning and understanding the dynamics of your department or the organization as a whole.  You have to be able to connect with your followers and not have a fear of participating on any level from the mail room to the CEO of the company. Leadership should not be a dictatorship but should continue to evolve. Listening to your followers and taking their concerns to heart with sincerity is just as important.  Leaders are the ones that do the right thing.  Managers are those that just do things right.  I'm going to lead.

Reference:
Denning, S. (2011). The leader's guide to storytelling: Mastering the art and discipline of business narrative. San Francisco, CA: John Wiley & Sons, Inc.

A521.8.4.RB_LloydPayneDamien

McKay, Davis and Fanning provide some direction for making contact with strangers. How comfortable are you striking up a conversation with someone new?. Are you able to "work a room" with ease?

In your blog, reflect on aspects of your personality and/or upbringing which make you able to relate to strangers easily—or not so easily. What lessons can you take from Chapter 14 of Messages to improve your ability to connect with others?

I feel that I am very comfortable and skilled when it comes to striking up a conversation with strangers. I have a very diverse background and upbringing that allows me to do this. In the 11 years that I have emigrated to America, away from my family, I have had 6 different jobs and have lived at 9 different addresses. There can be nothing more daunting for someone than uprooting to a different country. Striking up a conversation with a stranger is an essential part of immigration!  During my time at each job and address, I have had to initiate and develop relationships with complete strangers, and in some cases, rely on these stranger's kindness and help because of the location and the circumstances of my job.

One particular incident that comes to mind was at Christmas in 2004.  I had just started in a new position flight instructing the previous September, and had just a few students.  I worked long hours and made tiny amounts of money.  One student, Pat Hoban was a middle aged man who lived in the next town over with whom I got on well with instantly.  Although we did not have much in common besides helicopters, we got along well and talked a lot about family and friends.  When it came to Christmas, he invited myself, my wife and two very young children (5 and 3) to join them on Christmas eve.  They were having a big dinner and a family present swap.  I accepted, because at that stage Christmas at our house was a modest affair, and the kids would enjoy the company of other children at a party, even though we didn't know them well.  My wife and I prepared the kids for what we thought would be the inevitable tears when they realized that none of the presents being handed out among the family would be for them, as this is a difficult thing to understand for someone so young.  What really touched me was that after the meal everyone from Pat's family sat in the living room and exchanged gifts.  At the end, Pat pulled out two last presents from the tree - one for each of my children.  I couldn't believe it, and it still fills me with joy and tears as I write about it now. In the short time that I had known Pat, he had already started to consider us as part of his family.  He knew money was tight, and wanted to do what he could for me.

Initiating and engaging in conversation with strangers has never been difficult for me, nor is it uncomfortable. I also have a very outgoing personality and this helps with my comfort level around strangers.  I feel very comfortable talking in front of large crowds, especially when I do not know the people in the room and the subject is familiar to me. Largely this has been due to my upbringing.  My parents were very sociable people, and also had a wide base of friends from many different classes and walks of life.  As a child growing up I was exposed to balls, black tie affairs, boat races, lawn parties and evenings at the theatre, ballet or opera.  All these occasions meant a different style, a different outlook and a different engagement of other people in attendance.  It was never the same thing twice, but what it did teach was the multiple aspects of making contact with strangers.


I grew up in a family of 6 children, and there were numerous times when I had to take control of the group, which required strong communication and leadership skills. My 5 brothers were all of a strong personality, and sometimes these skills were tested to the limits. This allowed me to gain confidence when talking in front of others, arguing. I also left my hometown and family at the age of 18, and travelled to Australia with no family or friends. I had to develop and improve on my communication skills and self-confidence to be able to meet new people at every step and form relationships with them. I started by flying out to Sydney, and then travelled the country from one city to the next staying and working from youth hostels. It was an interesting dynamic - at least everyone at a youth hostel had something in common: we were all travelling  and trying to survive.  Sometimes we would form a group dynamic and stick together for a month or so as we worked in one place and then eventually individuals drifted on to the next town.  If anything was certain, it was that I would have to make a new new set of friends every few weeks. At the very least it was a learning experience.

According to McKay et. al. (2009) “there are three things to make a good conversation: ask questions, listen actively, and disclose a little about yourself” and  “the inability to listen is the most common cause of conversational disaster’ (p. 214). This is an important skill in any conversation. Sometimes, you can greet people with a wrong statement and people respond with a polite yes. They didn’t listen to what was said. In many cases people don’t remember the name of the person the meet - something I am very guilty of.  In this week's readings I learned that “listening is more than merely keeping your mouth shut” (McKay et. al., 2009, p. 214). We must be an active listener, and this is a powerful tool. Providing feedback within the conversation will indicate that you understood what was said, and promote more disclosure on the side. According to McKay, Davis & Fanning (2009), this provides for a good conversation.

Reference:
McKay, M., Davis, M., & Fanning, P. (2009). Messages, the communication skills book. Oakland, CA: New Harbinger Publications, Inc.

A521.7.4.RB_LloydPayneDamien

In your Reflection Blog, relate a knowledge sharing story from your personal experience. Be sure to describe the context of your story.

Knowledge sharing applies to imparting information that can be recalled and used for future applications, but unless context comes with the knowledge, the sharing is not a useful as it could be (Denning, 2011).  Knowledge sharing stories are used to spread knowledge and pass knowledge on from one generation to the next and are generally not very interesting but are very informative.  Unlike the typical story, knowledge sharing stories include an explanation. (Denning, 2011).  

In the flying world, knowledge sharing stories are crucial to pilots’ successes.  Without hearing the stories of the mistakes or positive accomplishments of pilots before us, we would continue to make the same mistakes over and over. There is an old saying in the pilot community that goes like this: 'There are old pilots and there are bold pilots, but there are no old, bold pilots' and I think this is mainly because of the prolific storytelling.

Over the years of flying it has become apparent that the weather certainly is the biggest killer of pilots, and in certain parts of the world or country, some aspects of the weather are always bigger killers than the rest.  In the North of the US snow and icing are the biggest problem, in the NE it is likely low clouds and poor visibility but in the South it is always Thunderstorms.  The problem is, that if you have only flown most of the time in one area you get caught out by a weather pattern that is unusual.  This was the case a few years ago when I was flying in the NE and was explaining to a pilot about my experiences with thunderstorms.

We were flying from Poughkeepsie to East Hampton, NY and in front of us were two thunderstorms with about a five mile gap between the two.  My copilot wanted to 'thread the needle' and slip between the two storms to our destination.  I told him wouldn't do it and this is the story I told him by means of an explanation:

In 2007 I was flying in the Gulf of Mexico (GOM) to oil rigs.  In the GOM the Pilot in Command really is the person in command - when he makes a weather decision nobody can argue with him - the decision is final.  This is how it was one morning that year in Fouchon, LA.  Two storm cells clearly visible on the radar but over 10 miles apart were sitting offshore in the direct path of almost every flight.  Every other pilot in the room decided they would take off and slip between the two to get to their respective rigs.  Everyone did take off except for me.  Even my copilot questioned why we were the only ones that hadn't - believe me, I even at one point questioned my own judgement.  
But I believed that if the two cells came together I would get stuck in the storm, or pinned behind it unable to get back.  I elected to sit tight.  The manager of the base asked me why I hadn't taken off yet, and I explained why.  He wasn't allowed to argue against the decision, but he looked at me like I was a fool.
20 Minutes later, the radio crackled into life, and every single pilot, regardless of age, ship type and experience was returning to the base - nobody could make it through the storms, which had closed together. One pilot actually made it half way through and turned around in the blind as it closed in around him.  He was lucky to escape in one piece. 
As I related this story to the PIC in the NE he understood how safety was the main priority.  A few extra minutes can make the difference between life and death - messing with thunderstorms just is not wise.  Of all the hazards mother nature can throw at us, thunderstorms can be the most unpredictable, the most deadly  and the fastest changing hazard.  The story put a human face onto the danger, and demonstrated in this instance my point about the gap in the storms.  I have told that story on countless occasions - sometimes for the same purpose, in other cases to highlight why pilots should stick to their decisions, on other occasions to show how following the crowd can get you killed.  In one instance the story was used to demonstrate how safety rules and not questioning pilot decisions (they call this pilot shopping) can help prevent a link in the accident chain. Every time the story is told, some facts are left out, some are embellished, depending on the listener.  This is a natural occurrence. "Each time we tell a story we level and sharpen it in different ways to meet the current context" (Denning, 2011, p.184). On this occasion, we went round and made it safely to East Hampton.

Reference:
Denning, S. (2011). The leader's guide to storytelling: Mastering the art and discipline of business narrative. San Francisco, CA: John Wiley & Sons, Inc.

A521.6.3.RB_LloydPayneDamien

Based on this week's readings from the Denning text, identify the elements of high-performance teams and apply them to teams with whom you have worked in your organization. Next, Identify the importance of shared values and discuss the influence of shared values on your team's performance. Finally, examine the four patterns of working together and detail one positive and one negative experience. What could you have done to influence the outcomes?

High performance teams exemplify several key elements, they actively shape the expectations of those who use their output, rapidly adjust their performance to the situation, grow steadily stronger, are fueled by interpersonal commitments, and work is often carried out with shared compassion (Denning, 2011). Of these key elements, I feel that when the work is carried out with shared compassion - this is when the team starts to be most effective.  I have worked in small sports teams, and that passion for the sport we played has brought everything else along with it. In the late 1990's, I worked for Hoechst as a sales representative selling drugs to vets.  At a certain time of year we all went to a very flash hotel and committed to a sales conference - often working in several small groups to learn and present new products or ideas. I remember seeing one team, led by a guy called Keith Watson (who happened to be a good friend of mine) come up before us all and present their answer to a problem that is no longer important for this story.

The important thing though was not the answer - it was the energy that just radiated out from this team.  Their smiles were larger than any other teams, they laughed, they made some good jokes, they made everyone in the audience feel good;  and they just glowed. And it didn't stop there, they were together at dinner, in the down time they were sitting together at the pool or at the bar too.  I remember thinking - "I'm not always going to be able to get onto Keith Watson's team, but if I ever get a chance to influence one of my own, it's going to be just like his".  Clearly this team was exhibiting some if not all of the values espoused by Denning.  Certainly, they carried out their work with shared compassion, and this continued throughout the conference.  Later in the conference, other teams copied some of their ideas and formats, and I even saw some of the phraseology appear in the field - proof positive that they were actively shaping the expectations of those that listened to their presentations.  It was also clear that as a group, they just grew stronger as a team throughout the week.

This experience, and from having the opportunity to work with Keith for several years afterwards that really helped me to adopt and mature this relationship building role.  I work harder at team cohesion and collaboration than anything else - even above everything else.  Most important of all is finding a shared value in the team as it exists, for without it it is hard to find the glue that will make that team soar higher than any other team. Denning (2011) agrees;: "To attract people from diverse backgrounds and cultures and get them working together, it helps if they discover what aspirations, goals, needs and dreams they have in common" (p. 171).  Sometimes I have found this can be as simple as giving the respect of the elder members, on other occasions it is because we all believe very passionately in the product or service.  On one rare occasion, we wanted to succeed because others said that we couldn't possibly work together.  Having this common value was not just important - it is vital to success of the team.  The influence that those values have on the performance of the team cannot be underestimated; even when the the results from that team do not seem to going they way that you want them too - those values are what holds the team together when things are not faring so well.

Among high performance teams, there are four patterns of working together: work groups, teams, communities, and networks. In a work group each person has a defined responsibility and had little need for active collaboration, they aim to get the job done. In contrast, teams are usually selected individuals with a leader,  have specific operational objectives, and work towards that objective until it is met.  Communities are different again.  Community goals are decided by the community members, and rather than being selected by one person, members of a community are usually self selected.  The driving force for a community is usually a passion for the focus of that community, so in theory a community should be stronger on shared values for that community.  Lastly, Networks are like communities but the driving force is the usefulness of members towards each other.  Network members want to stay in touch with each other so long as they are useful to each other.

I belong to a professional networking group, LinkedIn which has been a positive experience so far. This helps me stay in contact on a very loose scale with those I share common values with, especially with those who may be of influence in the job market should I ever find myself in the situation where I need to find a job. Unlike Facebook, LinkedIn members restrict their input to professional aspects of their life, and so it is not very intrusive.  In addition, their are many useful articles posted on leadership and other areas of interest related to my job. I can use this as a source of input and information.

In so far as a negative experience, the one that I could share would be a community garden project I was involved in.  Red Hook community attempted to set up a shared garden for people who didn't have the room to grow their own vegetables.  I was involved because I shared the passion for local produce, but the community disbanded after just one season because those most passionate about the garden left to pursue other interests. Denning states that when members no longer perceive the value of the community it usually does disband as this one did. The negative experience came from maintaining the interest among the community members.  While some were pressed for time, others really just gave up because the value of the garden was not greater than the time they had to put in.  Before the project started, I was convinced that it would fail because we couldn't get enough people interested. This was not the case - keeping them in the community proved to be the impossible task.

References:
Denning, S. (2011). The leader's guide to storytelling: Mastering the art and discipline of business narrative. San Francisco, CA: John Wiley & Sons, Inc.

A521.5.4.RB_LloydPayneDamien

Based on the readings in the Denning text and the assessment you took in A521.5.1 identify in detail the process of developing and aligning organizational values. Identify the three basic components of an ethical community and discuss how they might be applied in your organization. Are there values that are missing from your organization?

Discuss how you might develop those values and also align them with the values of the individuals in the organization.

 According to Denning (2011) ethical communities have three basic components: trust, loyalty and solidarity. These values seem to be intertwined and are prerequisite to each other to exist as a collective. His book details these components clearly.  To have trust in an ethical community, there must be a general expectation that those you interact with will behave in an ethical manner toward you. Loyalty is ones acceptance to refrain from breaking one anothers' trust while solidarity is looking out for and caring about the interests of others in your community. You must be ready to take action on the behalf of others even if it conflicts with your own personal interests.

Having continuity in all three ethical components is not an easy task.  All of us have our own set of personal values and experiences that have created who we are and what we believe in.  Add to that individuals growing up in different cultures and countries, and the challenge can be enormous.

I feel that Management aims to operate out of trust, loyalty, and solidarity; however the mark is often missed. I think that we are able to obtain our goals because we are each driven and hardworking individuals. I think that the team tends to scatter a bit in response to fear of reprimand and repercussion. I would like to trust that my supervisor has my best interests in mind as well as the best interests of my colleagues, but I feel personal gain is on the top of the agenda. I feel that we were all hired to do this job because some qualities were observed that would make for a beneficial addition to the team as a whole. I do not feel however, that our individuality is valued.

Denning (2011) talks about several ways to develop and align organizational values. One is to distinguish personal values from corporate values for employees through workshops, giving them the opportunity to understand not only what the company's organizational values are, but to learn if they as individuals see themselves as being connected to those values.  This opens up avenues for both the company and the individuals.  Those realizing that part of their unhappiness is tied to a difference in ethical values may choose to leave the company: " The dissonance between their personal and the corporate values may be such that they realize why they cannot stay with the company" (p.135).  It also helps the company recognize those who are interested in continuing their career and embracing a greater understanding of the organization's values.

Another way is to distinguish operational values from espoused values.  If what is espoused is in complete contrast to what is operational, people lose trust and respect.  "Declaring values that are not consistently acted upon may be worse than not declaring any values at all" (Denning, 2011. p.138). You need managers who communicate the brand or the value through their actions. (Employee power, 2001)

Lastly, transmitting values through the use of narratives can also be used to develop and align values. Narratives that are told from a "minimalist fashion-with no character development or attempt to set at the scene"(Denning, 2011, p.145), allows the listeners to become actively involved, and create part of the story in their own minds.  Leaders can also share stories about someone in their life that has made a difference and reflects who they are and what they care about.  This ultimately reflects their values and alignment within the company's ethical community.  

Of the three examples above - none are evident in my company.  Doing one or all of the above would probably mark a large turnaround.  As stated in this blog before, our company pathway is paved by Wall Street - our sole purpose to gain shareholder value, and that value is nailed to the wall in the pilots office directly alongside the poster that shows "our values and standards"

Interestingly, the five core values I hold most sacred -- those that I can't live without in your job/workplace are shown below:

1. making decisions, having power to decide courses of action
2. opportunities for supervision, power, leadership, influence
3. stability and security
4. clear advancement tracks/opportunities for advancement
5. opportunity for balance between work life and family life

None of the above values are stated in the overall company objective, and yet in 2009 I worked for a company (Avon) that frankly could put a check mark next to every single one.  I hindsight, I don't think I appreciated enough how clearly determined Avon was in living their values.  In one example, I was asked to learn the business from the ground up in a few short weeks by actually doing the job that those below me did.  Having pounded the streets, worked in marketing, manufacturing, deliver and sales I got a real appreciation of everyones values - and how as a team they were each proud of the company accomplishments.  Avon was the very poster child for ethical community.  My current company has a lot to learn from them - and they could start with the Denning basics.

None of my values seem to align with that of my company at first glance, and so perhaps I should not be with the company still (according to Denning (2011)).  However, there is an opportunity for balancing work and family life that keeps me in my job, as my schedule is light and somewhat flexible although this is not a major value of the corporation per se - more of a reality that just is..  Up until a few years ago stability was considered good at my company, but as we chased shareholder value, cuts came down the line and now the opposite is true.  This cutting sparked a wave of 'job-saving' opposition to change, ideas and innovation.  People began to be more protective of their jobs and less inclined to take a risk with a new idea.  Opportunities for rapid advancement waned and power and supervision opportunities dried up.

The largest issue is that of trust - of which there is scant little in the company.  I believe that until that is fixed there will always be a downed bridge on the road to an ethical community at my company.

Reference:
Denning, S. (2011). The Leader’s Guide to Storytelling: Mastering the Art and Discipline of Business Narrative. San Francisco, CA: John Wiley & Sons/Jossey-Bass.

Employee power. (2001). Nation's Restaurant News, 5(2), 26-28. Retrieved from http://search.proquest.com.ezproxy.libproxy.db.erau.edu/docview/229363008?accountid=27203

A521.4.3.RB_LloydPayneDamien

Reflect on Chapters 4-6 of Messages and create a blog posting that identifies how you might use the information in these readings to improve your ability to communicate with sincerity and congruence. Think about instances where you have been exposed to incongruent messages and how you felt at those times.
In your blog, use specific situations that you recall and describe changes that you would make using the technical jargon of the chapters. 

Make no mistake about it, verbal and non-verbal communication sends a very powerful message to the receiver when used correctly.  However, for the person delivering the message, communication that is delivered incorrectly can be ambiguous and very noticeable by your audience.  Inconsistency in communication can cause a loss of credibility and the audience may be less trusting of what the speaker is trying to convey.


When it comes to body language, I am very aware that I use it as a main factor for my communication style.  “Understanding body language is essential because over 50 percent of a message’s impact comes from body movements” (Denning, 2011).   I gesture or “talk” with my hands a lot and use the nonverbal movements called illustrators.  "Illustrators are non verbal movements that accompany and illustrate verbal communications" (McKay et. al., 2009, p.61).
When I am describing something I will draw it out in the air with my hands, and this probably isn't so unusual.   I do find that it can either get and keep a person’s attention or it becomes a distraction because they are looking at my hands and not my face.  I try to read the person I am talking to and see if they are paying attention to what I am saying or if my gestures are distracting them and I will adjust to this by holding a pen or notepad in my hands to keep from getting carried away.  One other area in chapter 4 that I found interesting was the proxemics or spatial relationships.  Proxemics, according to McKay et. al., (2009) is: "the study of what you communicate by the way you use space" (p.65). At work we are a close knit group but we mostly fall into the social distance area. Perhaps this has something to do with men, and Type A personalities.  One study determined that personal characteristics such as power, which may be inferred from sex or occupation (versus culture), may also have an impact on proxemic behavior. The study concluded that "powerful individuals will interact differently, in proxemic terms, than individuals who have little power." (Albus, 1980, p.121)

Chapter 5 Paralanguage and Metamessages was the most interesting for me because it involves vocal aspect of speech.  McKay et. al., (2009) describe the six elements as: "pitch, resonance, articulation, tempo, volume and rhythm." (p.70-72).  I have noticed that when I talk on the phone I use resonance quite often.  When talking to a colleague who is angry I tend to make my voice a bit stronger to convey my firmness with them and I also articulate my words more and speak slower.  I also tend to soften my voice when I am talking to someone familiar on the phone. The largest issue for me is my accent.  Most people cannot place it - it certainly has an Australian twang to it, and the rising inflection at the end of sentences that Australians use all the time.  Combined with the speed of my talk from the English side and my turn of phrase, many people have a hard time understanding me - especially over electronic communications like a radio.  I have to constantly think about speaking slower on the radio.

It goes with that saying that if you smile when you are on the phone the person on the other end can “hear” that smile as well and feel more comfortable with you.  If you are irritated it will come through in your voice.  Many years ago I attended a course on effective presentations and learned there how to enunciate properly and speak in front of people so that I could be understood well and although I may sound slow, the pace of my speech is just right for the audience.  When I present, my speech is fine; I just need to project this more to my everyday life.

One last area in chapter 5 I found interesting is the metamessages.  Metamessages are statements that can have two meanings - the meaning of the actual words, and the meaning of the speakers attitudes and feelings (McKay et. al., 2009).  We may all be guilty of this from one time or another, however I have found after reading this section that there are certain people who do this all the time.  There is a coworker will spout out numbers on everything, “The max. continuous engine temperature is 940 degrees centigrade” or "50% of pilots don't think we should do this".  For others at work, the emphasis is on the person speaking and how much they have worked.  This tends to make others in the office feel as if we have done nothing all day long, or know little on the subjects.  The air of authority he projects by using numbers covers up the fact that often the numbers themselves are wrong.  In this area I have done well to improve by not complaining or throwing out numbers as a compliant or gripe.

Hidden Agendas shed some light on not only me but some of my coworkers as well as family members.  For example, “I’m good” applies to a coworker who feels the need to talk about their wealth (my house is worth $650,000) any chance they get.  Again, McKay et. al., (2009) explain the I'm Good agenda as "a role that is played as if you were on stage - you create an undeniably fine character, but not your authentic self" (p.81).  People often make a point of telling their story to constantly paint themselves in a good light no matter what the situation is.  Of course no one is going to go out of their way to talk badly about themselves but I find that this agenda explains a lot about this person.  The agenda “you’re good (but I’m not)” reminds me of several people!

The last agenda I want to talk about is the “I’m Tough” agenda.  I read it and then had to reread it again.  This is how at least like to think of myself, and even I get overwhelmed by it.  I have learned to do many things for myself so I have that chip on my shoulder that says “I don’t need you”.  I would rather fail at something than to ask for help because to me it shows weakness in myself.  I want to show that I am in control at all times. This is something that I struggle with each day and I work hard to change this “I’m tough” persona. In particular this shows in my personal life - where the honey-do list is long, the project are time consuming and important to my wife, but I hate it when she tries to help by starting one!  "That's my job" I'll exclaim as she attempts to put up a curtain rail or frame out a wall (usually pretty badly).  One strategy to counter this is to give some of the smaller projects (and the one's I hate) to my wife to complete.  Painting is one - that job she can have anytime.  I try also to be less overprotective of my tools or equipment - this helps!

Admitting that I can’t do it all by myself is a big step for me in becoming a better communicator.   I believe my fear is that if I ask for help I will disappoint someone or they will lose faith that I can do it.  It is something that takes time and will be something that I will work on for the rest of my life.  These 3 chapters opened my eyes to different types of communicating and I hope to be able to read these signs better and use what I learned in each chapter to communicate better not only in my professional but personal life as well.        

References:

ALBAS, C. A. M. (1980). CULTURE, POWER, AND PROXEMIC BEHAVIOR. (Order No. 8113935, University of Colorado at Boulder). ProQuest Dissertations and Theses, , 121-121 p. Retrieved from http://search.proquest.com.ezproxy.libproxy.db.erau.edu/docview/303031473?accountid=27203. (303031473).

Denning, S. (2011). The Leader’s Guide to Storytelling: Mastering the Art and Discipline of Business Narrative. San Francisco, CA: John Wiley & Sons/Jossey-Bass.

McKay, M., Davis, M., Fanning, P. (2009). Messages: The Communications Skills Book. (3rd ed.) Oakland, CA; New Harbinger Publications, Inc.

A521.3.4.RB_LloydPayneDamien

In your Reflection Blog, recall two or three situations from your childhood or early adulthood that had a formative impact on you. Describe the situations and relate how they impacted you. Pick situations that have affected how you act and feel in an organizational or team-based environment.

In "the Leaders Guide to Storytelling (Denning, 2011) the author illustrates how story about our early memories, particularly during our formative years, are ones "create the story of who we are" (p. 108). We cause these stories to reveal who we are and what we stand for, so that an audience can decide the authenticity of why we are speaking.  From storytelling, Denning claims, people who wonder who I am and where I come from can have these questions answered - and hopefully, that will make them listen more intently.

In their book, "Messages", the authors McKay et. al., (2009) demonstrate how self disclosure of this kind can be very rewarding; bringing increased self knowledge, closer relationships, improved communication and more energy among others. They state: "It's paradoxical but true that you know yourself to the extent that you are known.  Your thoughts, feelings, and needs often remain vague and clouded until you put them into words" (p.26).  It is for this reason that the following three stories should explain more about who I am and where I come from - hopefully explaining more about the things I stand for through them.

When I was 18, I decided to take a year off from school and go and do some traveling instead of going directly to university right after the English equivalent of high school.  Many of my friends were taking this year off, and I decided I needed to be fresh for the start of any new course.  I decided that I should like to travel around Australia – quite a daunting task because I knew nobody there, had never been away from home for any length of time and really needed to work my way around that country as I had little to no money.

So daunting was the task, I hesitated for a month, worried about being on the other side of the world from my support network at such an impressionable age.  Finally, I just booked the ticket, much to my family’s surprise, and off I went for the better part of the year.  Living and working in Australia taught me several things, and set me up well for the future.  Firstly, it taught me that if I put my mind to something I could be successful at it.  Becoming independent the way that I did was the equivalent to throwing a non-swimmer into the deep end of a swimming pool and hoping they would learn to swim!  The second lesson was that survival actually depended on having a building a network of friends as quickly as possible, and learning from them and together as you move forward to make the best of the situation.  In Australia this was accomplished at Youth Hostels, where you meet like minded people in the same situation and team up to make your journey together for some or all of the time.  In the workplace, this lesson translates into teamwork nicely.  Teams are built on a shared existence, with similar goals, and a willingness to work towards an overall aim.  The preparation I received from my travel to meet complete strangers and form a quick bond on some common ground and then move forward has proved invaluable in teamwork both in the workplace and on ERAU courses throughout the MSLD syllabus.

In another situation, when I was a young man I was heavily involved in the cub scouting movement, and enjoyed immensely the sense of belonging it gave me.  Later in life, reflections on my time there have likened it to how many of the brave men and women in the armed forces must feel when they join up.  What was great about the scouting movement was that it gave you a sense of pride in yourself, while striving to earn badges and awards and at the same time help the community in which I was living.  I was proud to be scout, and have looked for the same values in companies that I have worked for.  Only one organization has yet measured up to that high morale, employee centered feeling that I got from being a scout.  While scouting taught me how to be successful in a big organization, ( I achieve the highest rank in scouting and was the first to do so in my age group in my community) it also instilled a sense of pride in the organization itself.  Since then I have discovered that an organization that treats it’s employees with pride, and works to better the lives of the employees as a number one goal, receives back far more in productivity, reduced staff turnover and innovation than it could ever invest.  I believe that people want to belong to organizations, but those same organizations often find it difficult to express how much they value the contributions that individuals make.  The ones that have found the right way are often the successes we hear about on the news – Apple, Google, Facebook etc.

A final example of a situation that had a formative impact on me was when as a small child, during the summer school holidays I would go with my dad to his work and spend the days ‘helping him’.  My dad owned his own business, and I distinctly recall a time when he had found that some money was missing from the petty cash.  My dad had a pretty short fuse, and was not happy about it at all, and he called together all of his workers (about 10 of them) to find out where the cash was.  The way that my dad tackled the situation however was different from the way I had seen him approach things with em and my brothers at home.  I though he would explode, grill the employees and start a Spanish Inquisition into the missing funds.  He surprised me though by first explaining his discovery to the men, and then asking if anyone had any knowledge of it.

When no one was forthcoming he simply stated that he understood the temptation, and that everyone was liable to make mistakes.  He told them that he had made many, in business, some of which he wished he could change but the time had passed so he could not.  He said that he understood that sometimes people feel they don’t have enough money or they are having a hard time making ends meet – and that as their boss he was there to help them if he could through those times, not make it harder for them.  He said that he was going to lunch for a hour and he wanted two things to happen.  First, he was going to leave the petty cash box in the bathroom while he went to lunch, and if the person who had the money wanted to put it back then he could and my dad would forget about it, because he knew that mistakes are easily made in the heat of the moment.  He then explained that his door would always be open to anyone who needed some extra help – and he would do whatever he could to make that help possible.  He said he valued each and every one of his employees, and the hard work they do so his own family could make a living too.

Sure enough, during lunch the money was anonymously returned.  According to my father, he suspected who it was anyway, but true to his word he never sought retribution and over the years helped many of his employees both financially and emotionally when they needed it.  This taught me a great deal about building trust with employees and never taking for granted the hard work that most people want to do at their workplace.  People often become disillusioned when they think their boss doesn’t care, and I have been careful to remember that lesson my Dad taught me that day on how to treat employees.  During my time as a manager of people, I always treated them with respect, accepted that nobody is perfect and everyone (including me) can make mistakes – but also, just because you are the boss, it shouldn’t mean that I value anyone’s contributions less than anyone else’s.  Each worker brings something to the table, and just as I have bad days, so to do others.  My dad taught me a valuable lesson that day.

References:

Denning, S. (2011). The leader's guide to storytelling: Mastering the art and discipline of business narrative. San Francisco, CA: John Wiley & Sons, Inc.

McKay, M., Davis, M., & Fanning, P. (2009). Messages, the communication skills book. Oakland, CA: New Harbinger Publications, Inc.